And we are back!

Landed. Bags collected and on the bus home. ETA at Tollesby Road is 11:30am

Home James, and don't spare the horses!

Well 2 year's and 4 weeks down we are currently sat in the airport awaiting our flight home.

It has been one hell of a trip and everyone is looking forward to sharing stories with their friends and families when we get home.

Parents - we will be sending a message to all the primary contacts when we land at Newcastle to let you know a more accurate ETA.

Paradise lost (not an epic)

The fields of fecundity
 roll readily forward,
Crashing waves of motherly love,
But nursing her young.
They sprout and stretch their weary limbs, Towards the suckled sun
Tenderly tended
Growing
Though different in kind
Some sweet ,Some stodgy ,Some light ,Some dark ,
Harmonious harmony
And the freshest of air .
(And the bestest of coffee)
Is this a paradise ?
Veiwed from the window of a lovely (flushable ) toilet .

A masai
He leads us boldly forward
Through the sprigs  of sapling  life
Tiny fireworks
Shooting stalks and bursting blooms
Quite a display

Hist

What is this  ?
A missing banana
A rouge broccoli
What scurrilous crimes
Commited by the soulful beast
I delight to imagine an elephant with the munchies
Indefatigably trying for a sweet treat
Unaware of the trampled destruction  left in his Wake.

The welltering wind dances at the.highest point of a distant hill
Far away
Karatu
Africa.
Hides a paradise
All the more wondering after a slight  trampeling  by a mischievous elephant

By Holly Westgarth- Graham aka the next John Milton .

T-minus 2 Days (?)

As we arrive at the last stretch of our Tanzania Expedition/Safari adventure. Group 3 went to Lake Manyara on a walking safari which other than a blood trail leading to an unfortunate Water Buffalo that had an incident with a lion was 'Fine' by our consensus. The team then continued their trek to find the remains of its skull which was picked clean by a pack of hyenas leaving nothing behind except the broken skull

Group Six Went to Tarangire seeing a multitude of animals including Elephants, Monkeys, Impala, Lions (or warthogs at a distance ) , A leopard (some of them did but not all), warthogs (no doubt this time ) and lots of wildebeests coupled with Zebra .

Group 4's walking Safari stood for 20 mins as elephants blocked their path. It probably didn't help that monkeys were feeding the baby

Group 1's journey led to a robbery happening whist they were in the car. A monkey had climbed in through an open window and stole Lauren's packet of crisps. As it fled the scene with its reward Lauren got out the car and screamed "THERE'S A MONKEY IN THE CAR!"

Jonathan, Jacob B and David

Too close to the wild-side!

A walking safari, sounds terrifying on paper but really fun in practice. Nothing says Africa like walking through a savannah while giraffe give you funny looks, elephants block your way and hippos try to eat you. Thats right, all of group 6 almost got eaten by hippos so all you parents can sleep sound not knowing if we are a few children short! What made the whole thing funnier was the fact that the park ranger with the group told them not to run away from the animals and when he saw the hippos he ran and said that the group was in, and i quote, "big shit".

In other news group 2 got to watch 3 huge lions walk about 1 inch away from their car and another group got to share a cafe with an elephant. So all in all it has been a very interesting first day and i personally hope that the days continue like this.

This blog was written by the ghosts of group 6: Joshua Whiffin, William Crooks, Tom Bates, Alastair Eales, Sam Campbell, Johny Paul and Jack Saville

New Campsite

Today we moved into the new campsite, following a celebration put on by the church to say thanks. We held our final flag break, and said a heartfelt goodbye to Mr Enessimo and Peter (our builder and labourer respectively) who were instrumental in the construction of the school.

We arrived this afternoon at Flamingo lodge with things being very different to the old campsite. Firstly our new long drops are bizarre, they have a handle, not to mention a small shower head attached to the side, which Kev had great fun firing into the sink (we haven't the foggiest what it is actually for). We now have showers, and to top it all off beds, even if the two of us only have one king sized bed between us(that should be fun). The pool is much nicer than the previous one, with Kev thinking the wet pit was a little too warm for his taste, so the cooler pool comes as a welcome relief. The dust will certainly not be missed , and we all look forward to relaxing and seeing animals starting tomorrow.

Thomas 'Kev' Dixon and Matthew Smailes

P.S. We are having trouble uploading photos onto the blog at the momeny, but will add them as soon as we can :)

Mzungu FC

Todays football commentary is brought to to you by Ellis Woodgate and Adam Cowperthwaite. Its going to be an interesting one.

The team today is called Mzungu FC: a group of young explorers slapped together in a middle of a field about five minutes before the match. They will face an actual team that can play football properly on the driest, dustiest, bumpiest ground ever.

The whistle blows mzungu fc kick off starting the match. mzungu fc immediately loose the ball and tanzo fc take posession, passing the ball around mocking the mzungus. "Its like there's only one team on the pitch Adam " "Your absolutely right Ellis" Mzungu fc look like they have no chance here  they have had a few chances from Adam but tanzania fc seem to be dominating.

This looks like a strong attack for tanzania here after a good interception. Number 7 passes to 5 who puts in a low cross and number 13 beats the defenders to tap it into the back of the net. The scoring is opened.

As it kicks off again mzungu fc lose the ball. They look like they wont be getting back into this any time soon. James is rolling around in the dirt sick of being on the losing team and is trying to change his ethnicity. Well thats what i think is happening. "Dont you think Ellis" "I'm not really sure Adam" Looks like we're playing  well here, oh spoke too soon as mzungu fc lose it and tanzania counter attack as the ball comes in past josh in goal. Our only saviour is Alistair who needs to clear the ball off the line, and slices it into the back of the net. You could say that was as slippery as "eales".
2-0 down, we need some inspiration and its not coming from Phil as he is trying to take out their back line. However just before half time Adam puts them back in the game with a blistering goal and a well placed shot to beat the keeper.

Half time
The manager, Fionda gives an interesting speech wouldn't you say Adam to boost his teams moral, and to finish it off an all hands in, shouting mazungu.

They now go in to the second half with hope but are immediately shut down with three goals from tanzania fc. The game well over and nothing to play for but it doesn't stop a surging run from chris the man the myth the legend the beast mallen who doesn't do one but two defenders with his silky skills before perfectly crossing the ball leaving Smailes with nothing else to do but tap it in straight past the keeper. 5-2 now and the game is now over as the final whistle blows. Fancy a Parmo in a bun Ellis. I would Adam but we're in Tanzania so the best we can have is a bit of chewy beef and spaghetti.

I'd like to thank all the traveling fans for making the long journey tonight. Its a goodnight from me Adam and at least boro won so i don't care, Ellis.

Trowel Man

It's seven AM on a Saturday
The regular teams shuffle in
There's Karen standing next to me
Wishing she had a tonic and gin

She says 'hey let's all go to the building site
We've got lots of rendering to go
It's hard and it's bleak, but it must be complete
So get ready to mucky your clothes

Mix mix m m mix mix mix (x2)

CHORUS
Lay us a brick, you're the trowel man
Lay us a brick on site
For we're all going to cherish these memories
So make sure this course is laid right

Now Niall on that wall is a leader of mine
He lays all my bricks for me
And he's quick with a joke or to buy me a coke
Bet he's thankful it costs 18p

He says "Stew, I believe this is killing me"
As the smile ran away from his face
"Well I'm sure that I could be a landscaper
Cause I can't keep up at this pace"

Brick brick br br brick brick brick (x2)

CHORUS

Now Robbie's a chef of the first degree
Cause he likes to play 'round with a knife
And Phill's making gravy with his skills from the Navy
Cause his shoulder has caused him some strife

And Lotti is practising money tricks
While the ringbeam is packed full of stones
And the catering team feel the loneliest
As they peel their potatoes alone

PIANO SOLO

CHORUS

It's irregular teams for a Saturday
But Stewart still gives us a smile
For he knows that it is we, for who else could it be
Who've been toiling away all the while

And the church choir sounds like a carnival
And their melodies bring us great cheer
As they look from afar, with their mouths hung ajar
At wazungus who's classroom stands here

Nail nail hammer hammer OW nail (x2)

CHORUS

Lyrics by Euan Lodge & Jack York
Music by Billy Joel

The Fresh Prince of Tanzan-air

Now this is a story all about how
My life got flipped-turned upside down
And I'd like to take a minute
Just sit right there
I'll tell you how we built a school in a place called Tanzan-air

In north Tanzania we camped and brick laid
On the build site was where I spent most of my days
Rendering,mixin`,building a school
While team 5 spent some time by the pool
When a couple of guys were feeling no good
Started dropping rubble in my neighborhood
I used the wrong ratio and Stewart  got scared
he said, "You're movin' with the Mzungus in South Tanzan-Air."

I went for a crap but when I got near
I ran into the wall and felt rather queer
I ended up laying there cos I had a few minutes to spare
Then I thought, "Nah, forget it."
– "Yo, home to the tents-Air."

I pulled up to the lodge about 2 or 3
And I walked through the door, said"Yo homie where's ma tea"
I looked at the school
We were finally there
Whoops we forgot to put the roof on.quick out of tanzan-air

I'm an explorer get me out of.....

*Geordie accent
Today in the jungle,
We woke early in the morning bright eyed and bushy tailed, except for team 4  who were asleep in their beds. I wished that was us today we had a real bushtucker trial of mixing cement and our favourite thing... brick laying.
We ventured back to camp for breakfast where we saw the excitable team 4 ready to go.

Breakfast was the same old food of beans bread and sausage, with team 4 ready to go on rest day....groans for flamingo lodge came from the rest of the team.

We went back to the build site ready to work apart from the ginger team who were wanting to work the best they could but were labelled the cripple team.

We were slaving away in the intense blistering heat but the worst hadn't come....we knew that a worse heat was coming.

We managed to get a lot of bricks laid. Team 6 were making cement while trying to manage all the different problems we were having with our backs. We were relieved when lunch came! The food was good but the best part of lunch was that we found out we were all given the afternoon off as we had worked so hard, however some teams had to spend an hour working taking turns to do work.

After tea we found a special addition to the long drops: A wasp that was flying up the long drop once you squatted, so we decided that it was a special breed of wasp " the African bumming wasp" that gave many people a fright.

But we cannot forget the fantastic team 5 are on rest day tomorrow and the stupendous team 6 the day after just to let you know.

By David and Harry.

A pricey poem

While the waterfall stood tall and grand
and Ben got a shower the way nature plan
I looked forward to the lodge
where I could get hot water on command.

The rode was dusty and dumpy on the way to what I craved
but Phil's driving almost brought us all the a early grave
as he sored down the roads, almost hiting chickens and kittens
and some bloke selling mittens.

His attempts to kill us were in vain
he had still left Dan and Baindridge in some pain
We rode up to the gate and entered with out trouble
my mouth fell a gape as my excitement started to bubble.

It was the best we had been to
and all could see
that it was going to be expensive
 and nothing was free.

First there was the restaurant with an inside like a palace,
all the tables were set up like a Royal banquet was passing.
All the folks and spoons and knives were in the right place
and felt like anything we said would be in bad taste.

All the food was great,
the best we had so far
but the way we were dressed
was well below the bar.

We quickly moved to the pool
to try to feel at ease
then we saw the view
and we all got weak knees
for the site before us
was one of such beauty
but those afraid of heights
would feel rather whoosy

The water was cool
and pictures were taken
by a very nice lady
and we all acted rather quite gayly.
Towards the end
I got a feeling quite devious
and pushed a fully clothed Jonny in the depths
 which made him quite delirious.

When he recoved
he chased me around,
throwing my hat in the water
and me he nearly drowned.
After it all
we laughed and got our showers
and the hot water made me
feel as fresh as flowers.

As we left for the camp
I watch the lodge disappear
and I found a thought
running through my minds ear
"we paid 48,000 each for food
that was very tasted
but was it that much
because we are very pasty?"

This bad poem was brought to you by Joshua Whiffin

The 8th?

The day the gingers fell.

0600: Still asleep.
0615: Caterers stumble out of tents and start the fire.
0630: The rest of the expedition arises to the sound of chickens and drums.
0700: Biscuits and off to work.
0830: The first ginger falls. (Literally, but I'm fine)
0900: Team 2 finely ascend from their tents ready for their rest day.
1000: Team 2 head for paradise. The rest slowly crawled back to the build site.
1130: The next ginger falls.
1230: Lunch - Nuns buns and mash- and extra sun cream applied.
1400: With full water bottles, sun hats and sun glasses the group make their way through the heat to build site.
1430: The first ginger falls again. (Not literally this time. Again I'm fine mum.)
1500: The Machine is born.
1530: Intense mixing begins.
1640: For their hard work what's left of the ginger team go for early shower.
1700: The rest of the work group head for showers.
1800: Aftersun betrays ginger resulting in a nose bleed.
1900: Tea/Dinner. (choose your own)
1930: Team 2 arrive late back from the rest day.
2000: Own time, people do as they please.

By Tom Bates (The Machine) and Izzy West (I'm still alive mum.)

And now a comment from Oscar (The rest day broadcaster.)
Rest day.
We drove through a banana plantation.
Followed uphill by banana farmer guy (he looked homeless).
We found and showered in a water fall.
Walked back to car.
Still followed by banana guy.
Went to fancy pool.
Saw an Acrobatics show.
Ate cheese in sauce form.
Returned to camp.

Whatever day the expedition is on

The final lot of rest days begin as team 1 heads out to serena lodge after a stint to 'the waterfall. However due to an interesting route choice the team didn't actually get to the location but did manage to take photographs from a distance away. They decided not to press on due to the time but in doing this they managed to locate a snake, which Jack nearly stood on. After a bumpy ride thanks to Niall's driving style the team arrived at serena lodge . The first activity was to have a delicious three course meal of soup, steak and chocolate cake. Then they took a dip in the infinity pool and then enjoyed a nice warm shower and headed for the site.

Team 3 spent a morning in the masai market haggling and trading for the best price with many gifts bought. The other teams bar the aforementioned teams 1&3 spent the day rendering, mixing and generally slaving away .

Ps The pit is where we throw what remains of.the campsites waste water which may or may not include food.

A report by Alastair and Jonathan

Mr. Not so Bright Side

( Read this with the music and just go with it)

Coming out of my tent and I've been doing just fine
Gotta gotta be up cos I can't be late

It started out with a brick how did it end up like this
It was only a brick
It was only a brick

Now I'm falling asleep and it's only.lunch time
While kev's taking a sh*t for the foooorrrrtthh time

Now they're mixing concrete and the ring beam is in
Got cement on my head
But I've got a hard hat on

Stu takes out a brick now
Windows innnnnn

And I just can't work it's killing me
Karens taking control

Brick laying
Passing bricks all day and night
Mixing cement all day long
Kev went in the pit today
Thirty quid the price they paid
Destiny was calling him
Shutting up his frightened eyes

Cos he's Mr Sh*tside

I'm coming out of my tent and I've been doing just fine
Gotta gotta be up cos I can't be late
Started out with a brick
How did it end up like this
It was only a brick
It was only a brick

Now I'm falling asleep and it's only tea time
Whilst kev's having a sh*t
For the fifth time
Now they're mixing concrete and the ring beam is in
Cement on my head
But I've got a hard hat on

Stu takes out a brick now
Windows innnnnn

Cos I just can't work it's killing me
Karen's taking control

Brick laying
Passing bricks all day and night
Mixing cement all day long
Kev went in the pit 30 quid the price they paid
Destiny was calling him
Shutting up his frightened eyes
Cos he's Mr Sh*tside

I never rest
I never rest
I never rest
I never rest

Jack Waite, Archie Johnson and Ellis Woodgate

Adventure to Lake Manyara

(Team 5 on tour)
After hearing the groans and grunts of zombies rising for a day of work, the majestic members of team 5 grabbed a precious sleep in, in preparation for the day ahead with the mad and slightly scary Karen and a tired Lauren.

Following sufficient bragging to everyone at breakfast (and flag break), saying goodbye to a  Preying Mantis their team leader found in Stewart's tent, team 5 were locked in the land cruiser and whisked away by a cackling Karen to Lake Manyara.

The trip started well, with the simply amazing team 5 driving straight past the check in point, being told off by a grumpy guard. Afterwards, they delved into the depths of the park.

Chugging along they caught only glimpses of meerkats and warthogs, while capturing spider monkeys and baboons swinging from the treetops on camera.

Emerging from the dark forest the exceedingly brilliant team 5 ventured out onto swampland, they headed out following signs for the hippo pool. Upon arriving at the hippo pool, the unbelievably fantastical team 5 were greeted by the sight of thousands of pelicans and other varieties of bird. Some of which were perched upon large bulbous rocks ,which on closer inspection turned out to be the hippos the stupendous party were searching for. Tearing out of the swamp, passing water buffalo, warthogs and zebra the fearsome team 5 set out for their next mission; giraffes and elephants.

After driving aimlessly for about 5 minutes, the beastly team stumbled upon 4 giraffes - apparently doing the mannequin challenge (obviously frozen due to the team's fearsome aura). Moving on, the dynamic team 5 drove in set off in search of larger game, namely elephants. After a while of chasing tour guides in hopes of finding the large creatures, they were finally rewarded with a herd of elephants.
Upon closer inspection, the elephants were quite keen on our car with one of them coming so close to the car that windows had to be closed. After silently freaking out and taking hundreds of selfies the team tried not to spook the beast, which wasn't helped by monkeys throwing what sounded like bowling balls from the trees above us, onto the roof of our car. The simply fantastic team were then urged by a panicking tour guide to move on as the elephant could have quite easily have tipped the car.

This once in a lifetime experience left the team rather smug when, as they navigated out of the   park, they happened across a long queue of tourist heavy cars (at least ten strong) lining up to see a smaller herd of elephants miles away from the track- about 2 metres away from the track.

Arriving back at camp the terrific team 5 joined the rest of the expedition for tea, discovering that good progress had been made on the build site, with the ring beam a third of the way complete, and the majority of the roof trusses fabricated.

By Christopher Mallon and Josh Walker
(Representatives of Team 5)
(Happy birthday Mam)

Life Outside the Compound

Today Marks the day that the majority of the brick laying for the project has been completed with the walls being 24 courses high with the inner and outer skin finished... Hooray!

Arusha was promptly visited today after the camp experienced a MAJOR toilet roll shortage, thanks Kevlar. It was soon discovered when reaching the city that Tanzanian drivers have absolutely no knowledge of the highway code. After weaving through layers of traffic, we eventually reached the supermarket, promptly clearing 2 shelves of baked beans and grabbing the largest bag of loo roll we could find. The return journey consisted of a quick prayer for good luck, before heading out into the deadly maze of traffic which covered Arusha.

During Jack's escapade to Arusha, 2 Teams ventured into the Market of Mto Wa Mbu. Just one thing that James forgot to address was the fact that, because we all look like confused tourists, market men seem to love to follow us all the way through the Market, offering a better price for an item which we already turned down 10 minutes ago. My favourite part of it all though is when you buy something from one shop then go into another shop with the same thing you just bought, then have the man proceed to tell you that what you bought is fake and that's why it costs so little.

In other news for Camp murder, Me and Jack aren't Dead yet. Also, will Ellis' parents keep him updated with the Boro scores please, Thanks.

Thank you for reading tonight.
-Jack Sando and Harry

Overview of Mto Wa Mbu

Over the last couple of days the camp has been sent into disarray and mass levels of distrust through the means of a simple game - camp murder. This involves each member of camp having a mission to kill off their friends and leaders in many a peculiar way as each person gets a victim to kill, a weapon to do so and a place in which this has to occur, causing friends to turn against each other in the quest to end up victorious.

This has led to some interesting plots to succeed in some of the more difficult missions such as Jack Waite blocking Karen in a long drop with a wheelbarrow to claim one of the most obscure kills so far.

On the slightly more serious side the classroom is almost up to ring beam height on all sides with only one wall needing another two courses to be ready.

Now that we are nearing the level of the ring beam the workload is starting to level off meaning that two teams today were able to take a half day off and venture into Mto Wa Mbu to have a look round the vast array of markets. Team 1 ( my team ) were granted the luxury of the afternoon off and were able to actually appreciate the beaming sun rather than loathing the sight of it whilst working.

Whilst we were there we were swarmed by many looky looky men for being perceived as rich wazungus who would obviously love to buy a 5 foot wooden giraffe carving. We struggled through the sea of sellers and eventually made it to the masai market which was full of handcrafted jewellery and lovely paintings, with a quick stop by the local supermarket to replenish some of the Western cravings that many of the teams have gained we headed back on our way to the dust bowl we call home. On the way back we were swarmed once again but this time by a more friendly group of schoolchildren who were intrigued to know all of our names. They also found great amusement in our mispronounced Swahili and were very interested in what we were building and when it will be finished as they were all on their way to the church just next to build site so have seen it build up from the beginning.

All in all it has been a very productive couple of days and a great insight into the more cultural side of Tanzania.

James Morgan

Breaking news: Walls nearly done

Today the gable ends have finally been completed despite having one course too few on the rear end. Team 2 being of no use was on their rest day in Lake Manyara and  another lodge whilst everyone else baked under the blazing sun working hard to get the walls ready for the ring beam tomorrow.

In other news: sunburn really hurts and the Kevlaritis epidemic is dying down. The leaders are planning converting more of the toilets into full on long drops. Who's daft idea was that?!

Written by Will Crooks and Jacob Bainbridge

Kev's dream

Kev has been having several strange dreams recently. This was because of the doxycycline he recently switched to due to an 'interesting' reaction to Malerone. We shall share his two most recent dreams so far;

The first dream concerned him attempting to bricklay behind his back(considerably better than in real life) when a stork flew down into the centre of a desolate build site. It proceeded to give Kev the morning report in the style of Zazu from the Lion King , then flew off leaving Kevlar alone , in the shell of a school building.

The second dream was far more peculiar, involving one Matthew Smailes. Kev dreamt  Smailes was a woman, laying bricks. His long, flowing locks and elegant dress baffled him as he/she Iaid  bricks on the outer course. When Kev attempted to explain this to the Explorers, the next morning, a rather amusing question arose as Timucin enquired as to whether Smailes did in fact have 'titanic bits'.

Meanwhile in the real world, we have successfully laid the two gable ends of the school and are very close to completing the two side walls. While other teams enjoy their rest days to lake Manyara, teams 3 and 5 are subjected to hard labour in the immense heat of the Tanzanian sun. Work is hard but fulfilling, but the 4 days till Kev's next rest day seem an eternity. Smailes has his in two days time so is looking forward to a break.

Thomas 'Kev' Dixon and (a rather nervous) Matthew Smailes

PS. I always thought I would look better as a woman.

Inside out....Karen edition!

Okay so it's day ten
Wait.
REST DAY YAYAYAY.
It's Karen's rest day! Whoooooo rest rest rest rest rest
Wait.
Karen Ok stop think about work .
We need to figure out who is shittin all over the long drops...I've already interrogated  Niall and Robbie.
Poor Kev it could be him? To be honest at this point it could be anyone.
Right let's check catering
Oh bugger they burnt the.eggs again.
Grumpy Karen.
Shout at Bainbridge
Ahhhhhh All better
Oh no it's Stewart coming to talk to me.
No no no no no
GODDAMIT Stewart
Okay so are a few courses down, had to take off a few bricks if that's okay.
Is that the kids singing the circle of life?
*Karen Cackles to herself *
At least I don't need to lay a brick today hehehe It's My Rest dayyyy!!!!!
Okay time to go everyone. In the car nice and easy
How did I get landed with the ginger team? The car is going to be weighed down by all the sun cream.
Off we go venturing, onwards out of the safety of our mighty fine camp
I wonder what I'm going to see
Oh yeah I remember
This desert again
Oops a little bit bumpy c'mon Karen keep it steady
Ohhh zebras !!!!!
Okay take this hill slow
Nicley done Karen
Ohhhhh ostriches!!
Here we are again
Engaruka
God I hate this place
Yep take a good look kids at the desolate waste land we were considering forcing you to live for a month
I know I know thank me later for breaking it to the locals
Right quick
Get in the van
I see Solomon on that far hill
Get the pedal down
Zoom zoom
Back we goooooo
Giraffe lodge weeeeeeee
And a pool. Nice.
Ahhh Luke in a bikini hide my eyes
Oh no I wonder how they are doing on site better ring Phil
Oh well I'm glad I'm not there....everyone's bums leaking
I wonder how Lotti Bob and Gary are doing with the shopping
Oh well sounds like a success to me they got everything for the best price possible what great guys, and gal! Silly Karen it's 2017 oooooh I wish I had cake like them I'm so jealous
Time to go back to camp
Well tea was nice
Oh no everyone is singing again
Bed time ! Ah all comfy
Aahhhhhhhhhh
Oh no ! I need a wee!

By Holly and Bob

500 bricks

*Scottish accent*

When I wake up,
Hell I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who really needs to pee.

And when I'm hungry,
Hell I know it's gonna be
It's gonna be the same old biscuit for me.

If I'm late up,
Hell I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who Robbie's gonna tease.

And when I go out,
Hell I know it's gonna be
It's gonna be the same old bricklaying for me.

I will lay 500 bricks
And I will lay 500 more
Just to be the man who lays 1000 bricks
To be told it's all wrong.

And when I come back,
Hell I'm hoping it's gonna be
It's gonna be some bone free meat eventually.

And when I need to,
Hell I know I'm gonna need
I'm gonna need to ask Kev for some loo roll.

But if my aim's off,
Hell Phil is gonna be
He gonna be one pissed off guy at me.

Then when I'm sweaty,
Hell the shower's gonna be
It's gonna be one chilly trickle down on me.

And I will lay 500 bricks
Oh I will lay 500 more
Just to be that man who lays 1000 bricks
To fix it on the next course

*Der de der der,
           Der de der der,
 Der de der der,
           Der de der der,
Der der dundiddle dundiddle dundiddle dun dah dah
Der de der der,
           Der de der der,
 Der de der der,
           Der de der der,
Der der dundiddle dundiddle dundiddle dun dah dah*

And when I cater,
Hell I know it's gonna be
It's gonna be one early morning for me.

And when I'm cooking,
I hope it isn't gonna be
Gonna be a smokey plate of curry for tea.

And when I'm washing,
Hell it's finally gonna be
It's gonna be some nice clean pants for me.

Then when I'm resting,
Hell I know there's gonna be
There's gonna be a nice place to sh*t finally
I'm gonna be the guy who comes back home...
All clean.

And I will lay 500 bricks
Oh I will lay 500 more
Just to be that mazungu who laid 1000 bricks
To find Karen cackling at me.

*Der de der der etc*

Love from Sam Campbell and Jack Saville
Xxx

Once upon a time....

Once apon a time there was a group of idiots that went on an adventure to the land of Tanzania, home to a blistering sun and many interesting locals. On the day of Saturday in particular the sun was beating on the idiots  more than usual and the locals were out and feeling talkative.

The first that they met was a young lad called Ahrri who was loud, proud and quite good at English. His dance moves were nothing to sneeze at either.

The next, Martin, who had a voice that even the grumpiest person couldn't help but smile at. The headphones on his head also led to him breaking into random bursts of song and dance.

The third and last I will be mentioning (because my god a lot came to see us) was Mary. She was a shy girl who stood to the side for most of the encounter but she came out of her shell when she saw Esme's hair and began to plait and play with it.

Many games were played, one of which was piggy in the middle. This game lasted the longest and distracted team three for 15 minites. In the end however work had to be done and the fun ended but the memory still stands firm in our minds.
The end. (And now I pass on writing to my
co-writer)

The scaffolding is up and we're all still working hard bricklaying.  The work was getting extremely hard as the weather was just too hot, and the ginger team (team 6) especially felt the effects of this. The wall is getting really good and is beginning to look like an actual building. All I can say for now is we are all tired and ready for some well deserved rest. See you all soon!                   

By David Hodgson and Joshua Whiffin