A-freakin' Long Journey

A long time ago, in a land far far away - Teesside Park  - a crack team of highly skilled dimwits embarked upon a journey that would change the lives of everyone involved forever.

And that was only to Newcastle airport.

The party was almost ruined as more "cunning" members of the group attempted to smuggle deadly artifacts such as scissors and marmite through customs.

Even through such perils, the team managed to stumble their way into Amsterdam, mostly in economy bar one...Karen Askwith, who of course upgraded to business with her platinum air miles.

After a gripping period of sitting on their bums, another plane was boarded, and another team of flight attendants looked at one another uneasily.

9 hours, 3 meals, and plenty of snoring later, the selection of spritely scouts shuffled their way through Kilimanjaro airport to freedom!

And a coach.

Surprisingly luxurious, the coach continued to bumble and bounce along proceedingly more precarious roads until - although a mighty beast - it was thwarted by a sharp bend and a tree.

Culminating in a hostel run by Tanzania's finest hosts (two Danish men), the first day of travelling concluded as a raging success - aided considerably by a delicious "chicken" curry.

In beds as soft as clouds, the posse reluctantly awoke to a surprising and disappointing lack of Danish pastries. Thankfully, the veritable buffet of a breakfast more than made up for pastry deprivation.

Departing almost as soon as they arrived, the group tackled the last hurdle of the cross-continental race to the campsite - the final frontier. Accompanied by genuine Tanzanians acting as guides, the vast majority of the group made the most of these knowledgeable individuals by falling asleep instantaneously.

At long last, the crew docked into Mto Wa Mbu. Reunited with their long-lost brethren, Phillip and Fionda, the rag-tag bunch did a smashing job of setting up the 5-star campsite.

In their final resting place, the expedition now lie, playing cards and mentally preparing for the colossal task ahead of them. Living with cackling Karen and loopy Lotti for the foreseeable future. Oh joy...

Euan, The one true Tom Scott, featuring Tom 'Kevlar' Dixon