Sunday 13 August 2017

Mzungu FC

Todays football commentary is brought to to you by Ellis Woodgate and Adam Cowperthwaite. Its going to be an interesting one.

The team today is called Mzungu FC: a group of young explorers slapped together in a middle of a field about five minutes before the match. They will face an actual team that can play football properly on the driest, dustiest, bumpiest ground ever.

The whistle blows mzungu fc kick off starting the match. mzungu fc immediately loose the ball and tanzo fc take posession, passing the ball around mocking the mzungus. "Its like there's only one team on the pitch Adam " "Your absolutely right Ellis" Mzungu fc look like they have no chance here  they have had a few chances from Adam but tanzania fc seem to be dominating.

This looks like a strong attack for tanzania here after a good interception. Number 7 passes to 5 who puts in a low cross and number 13 beats the defenders to tap it into the back of the net. The scoring is opened.

As it kicks off again mzungu fc lose the ball. They look like they wont be getting back into this any time soon. James is rolling around in the dirt sick of being on the losing team and is trying to change his ethnicity. Well thats what i think is happening. "Dont you think Ellis" "I'm not really sure Adam" Looks like we're playing  well here, oh spoke too soon as mzungu fc lose it and tanzania counter attack as the ball comes in past josh in goal. Our only saviour is Alistair who needs to clear the ball off the line, and slices it into the back of the net. You could say that was as slippery as "eales".
2-0 down, we need some inspiration and its not coming from Phil as he is trying to take out their back line. However just before half time Adam puts them back in the game with a blistering goal and a well placed shot to beat the keeper.

Half time
The manager, Fionda gives an interesting speech wouldn't you say Adam to boost his teams moral, and to finish it off an all hands in, shouting mazungu.

They now go in to the second half with hope but are immediately shut down with three goals from tanzania fc. The game well over and nothing to play for but it doesn't stop a surging run from chris the man the myth the legend the beast mallen who doesn't do one but two defenders with his silky skills before perfectly crossing the ball leaving Smailes with nothing else to do but tap it in straight past the keeper. 5-2 now and the game is now over as the final whistle blows. Fancy a Parmo in a bun Ellis. I would Adam but we're in Tanzania so the best we can have is a bit of chewy beef and spaghetti.

I'd like to thank all the traveling fans for making the long journey tonight. Its a goodnight from me Adam and at least boro won so i don't care, Ellis.

15 comments:

  1. Well done son,you have me & your dad laughing yet again a brilliant blog,see you in a week xx yvonne xx

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  2. Well done son,you have had me & your dad laughing again brilliant blogg,see you in a week xx yvonne xx

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  3. Another good blog . Nice to see you've had fun but it is the building finished. Where's the pictures today??! ⚽

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  4. missing you lots bob hope you're having the best time however next time you go away please make it less than a month. cant wait to hear all your stories and see more photos. all my love from Em xxxx

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  5. Another great blog, wondering what type of blog will be next but always unable to guess. It's great to hear you are all having fun but where are the photo's? Look forward to seeing photos tomorrow. Catherine xx

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  6. Blog is too funny!! Brilliant!

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  7. Brilliant blog! Very funny. Well done guys

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  8. It's lovely to hear that you are all able to have a little more free time to spend with the locals and enjoy your surroundings.
    I bet everyone is looking forward to a little R and R for the next few days.
    Everyone here is keeping me busy and I suspect a special effort to keep me occupied is afoot. Dad is putting a radiator in Emily's bedroom so I played spot the leak and save the Tom who kept falling in the holes where floorboards had been lifted. Then I went on a special scavenger hunt to find a wrench, a drill and other stuff and finally a treasure hunt to collect all the tools dad had scattered around the house for me. Jack and Charlie have made a real effort by thrashing each other on and off PS4. They have trashed their bedrooms too and I appreciate the all the effort that must have taken. But the most considerate of all, the one making the most effort is of course my 4yr old star, who has something of a creative streak!
    She has coloured in several keys on the piano a lovely pink colour and resprayed a chair with silly string. Then she coloured the dining room wall with yellow chalk and when taken to ToolStation proceeded to write her name on the wall. Eventually upon trying to pebbledash my windows with tiny pea gravel I expressed my gratitude and insisted she lay down in bed for a well deserved break.
    So you see there is no need to worry I am being kept busy and I am sure time will fly by and you will be home before you know it.
    Lots o loves and stuff from a well happy Mam and I'm not even lying I'm proper chuffed 😂

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  9. Brilliant blog. Good to hear Matthew Smailes keeping his seasons average of a goal a season intact!! Sounds like a good day. Love Mam, Dad and Laura xx

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  10. Hello Charlotte and Clare, enjoyed reading another good blog. Well I guess you're about finished now? Waiting for the photos of the completed building and all new local friends you've made. Enjoy your week of rest, will speak soon. Lots of love Grandma xxx

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  11. Misssing you so much alex, I'm getting very impatient, come home!! I'm very jel of you going to flamingo lodge though it will be amazing. Enjoy it, See you very soon, 6 sleeps xxxx lauren

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  13. Ah, the international language of football! Not that I understand it. Sounds like fun though.
    Archie, nothing much exciting happening here. I've been trying to do something about Davy's bedroom...the dust on the Lego is getting to epic proportions. Probably very much like the dusty football pitch in Tanzania. But I am getting in to trouble for moving/ breaking the Lego ....there is just so much of it. Anyway, I am dying to know how you are. Enjoy yourself this week - I'm sure it'll be amazing - get some photos. Love mum, dad and Davy x

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  15. Hiya Holly, we hope you're having a great time and enjoying a break after all your hard work! It's great to see a little of what you're doing. We are looking forward to seeing you when you get back. Love Grandma, Grandad and Meg xx

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